Saturday, September 10, 2011

10 Reasons Why the Original Clash of the Titans is Better Than the Remake

If only on a campy B-movie classic fantasy level.


1) Young Harry Hamlin



2) Professor McGonagall Maggie Smith 



3) Ray Harryhausen and his stop motion animation 



4) Mechanical owls



5) Andromeda's sparkly sacrificial Kraken outfit.  (Not pictured: her silver sandals) 



6) Zesus' heavenly party place 



7) Lack of 3-D


8)  Medusa's Cadbury Creme Egg filing


9) Kraken abs (Kraken hobbies: swimming, terrorizing, eating young maidens, cross stitch, working out)


10) This face (ACTING!)

 

Friday, September 2, 2011

Beatles meet Muppets



Saw this the other day and have been in love ever since.

Extinguishing Humanity: Thinking About the End of _The Road_



I'm teaching The Road by Cormac McCarthy to my English 102 students, and we have finally come to the end of the book. The final paragraph is one of the most contested paragraphs in contemporary literature:

Once there were brook trout in the streams in the mountains. You could see them standing in the amber current where the white edges of their fins wimpled softly in the flow. They smelled of moss in your hand. Polished and muscular and torsional. On their backs were vermiculate patterns that were maps of the world in its becoming. Maps and mazes. Of a thing which could not be put back. Not be made right again. In the deep glens where they lived all things were older than man and they hummed of mystery.

Many read the final sentence as a sign that the world will survive whatever cataclysmic event prompted the man's and the boy's journey in the first place. They read the final sentence to say that the trout are alive and have survived what nothing else could. It's a very optimistic reading, in my opinion. And yet, The Road does end on a note of optimism. Though the man dies, the boy is not raped or eaten by cannibals as his mother feared would happen to them. Instead, he is taken in by another family-- more "good guys." The man has spent most of the journey in extreme fear and paranoia (for good reason), but in the end we find there are still good people in the world. And, if we read the final paragraph to indicate that brook trout have survived the apocalypse, then the man's incessant push to survive, his hope against all hope, pays off. It is the most elemental struggle, the struggle to survive. The man's notion that the boy, messiah-like, carries "the flame," whether that be the flame of goodness, faith, or life, ends up being true.

I take a more pessimistic approach. I latch on to the first word of the last paragraph: "Once." As in "Once upon at time...". The final paragraph indicates neither survival nor success nor truth. Instead, it indicates a choice. It undercuts the story of survival and goes beneath the something much more human and points to the truth not that survival is imminent but that it is a choice. The decisions that we make have cumulative and, in some cases, catastrophic outcomes. "On their backs were vermiculate patters that were maps of the world in its becoming. Maps and mazes. Of a thing which could not be put back. Not be made right again." The text points to a course of events that cannot be reproduced or traced in reverse. It is weighted with warning that what is done now cannot be undone. And yet it beams with a positive view of humanity, that we can make the better decisions yet.

Whenever a friend or colleague finds out I am teaching this book, they comment on how depressing it is. I agree. And yet, what I really like about this book isn't what it says or describes about the last breaths of a dying world. Instead, I love this book because it constantly reminds me about what is outside the text-- literally. It makes me look up, take a deep breath, and say, in the voice of Louis Armstrong, "what a wonderful world." The catch is, the choice to make it a wonderful world are up to us.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Saved by the Reality Show


I just looked up Tori Spelling on IMDb because I had a brain fart and couldn't remember the full name of her character from Saved by the Bell. (For the record, it's Violet Anne Bickerstaff.) In addition to jogging my memory, I discovered that she's going to be on an episode of Hoarders. Anyone* who read her first trashy autobiography could tell you that. No duh, TLC.

*I may or may not have read all of her autobiographies. There's no way to know for sure. It's not like you could find copies on my bookshelf, or look at my library account or anything like that.

Neville Longbottom is cooler than you


...because he kicks ass in a fair isle sweater.

Finally saw Part 2 tonight and basically cried the whole time. Harry Potter has been a big deal to me, and I thought the movie was a pretty good conclusion to the series. And because I'm really cool, I went by myself and sat in the second row from the top, right where there are just two seats against the wall. Some teenagers walked in about 45 minutes after the movie started and said "FUCK!" really loudly when they saw me sitting there. I think I ruined their plans to make-out/fingerbang. Sorry, guys! But really, who goes to Harry Potter to fool around? Snape would not approve. Ten points from Gryffindor.



You'll stay with me? Always.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Muppet Love

Over the past few weeks there have been numerous articles online about The Muppets and their creator, Jim Henson. As a huge Muppets and Henson fan, this makes me super excited, with each article or blog post reminding me why I have so much love for Henson and his merry, furry band of puppets. One thing in particular that I have enjoyed is all the photos of Henson at work. Here are a few of my favorites.

Photo credit

Fraggle Rock is one of my all-time favorites shows. I was so in love with the Fraggles, I wanted to be one. Red, to be exact. Oh, how I longed for a Fraggle tail and Fraggle pigtails, and Fraggle pebbles and Fraggle everything, basically. So naturally I love this photo of Henson with The Fraggles. Let the music play...


Photo credit

One thing that I love about The Muppets is how real they are, and not just because they reside in the physical realm, unlike say, a CGI Nemo or Buzz Lightyear. Their lively personalities make it to forget they are essentially felt puppets, and this is a testament to the talent of the puppeteers and artists behind them. What I love about this picture is that Bert and Ernie feel separate from their puppeteers and yet still extensions of them. And I forgot how physical puppeteering could be! Frank Oz, Jim, and the other puppeteer are all arms and squished together, so much so that the third guy is (hilariously) right in Henson's armpit. That's dedication.

Photo credit

There's something about this photo that feels very intimate, as if the viewer is sneaking a peak at a quiet moment between Bert and Jim. What is Bert telling Jim that has his undivided attention? Could it be about the elegance of the pigeon? But just as you're contemplating the conversation, you remember Bert is a Muppet, and the image becomes an intimate glimpse of the artist engrossed with his work. And I just love the composition of this photo: the black and white, the full profile view of Henson with his legs pulled up and Bert on his arm, how the lighting creates an outline or a merge suggestion of Bert and Henson, the framing from the window behind them. Really beautiful.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Portrait of the Doctor as a Young Crustacean


I saw this make your own pom-pom conch kit at A.C. Moore and decided to buy it because it was fun, random, and cost a dollar. But I mostly bought it because the mouth tentacles reminded me of Dr. Zoidberg from Futurama.

I'll take eight! Woop, woop, woop, woop!

Dig the striped pipe cleaner shell.


I figure I can get some more pom-poms, pipe cleaners, googley eyes, and some felt and make a whole set of Futurama like characters. Maybe throw them on the tree for Christmas or something. Festive!