Alec Baldwin Wearing an Apron

I did a google image search for "Alec Baldwin wearing an apron" and this is what came up. Perfect!

Yesterday Alec Baldwin sent the internet into a tizzy after he proclaimed that 30 Rock would end after next season. Even though he retracted his statements about the end of 30 Rock, Alec has been saying he's going to quit acting in 2012 since 2009. While I wish he and 30 Rock could go on forever, all good things must come to an end. And preferably they should end while on top, but not too soon a la Arrested Development or Veronica Mars. But all this got me wondering: how will we get our Alec Baldwin fix if he does finally quit?

Alec once famously stated (in my mind at least, as I can't find proof of this in the five minutes of googling I did) that when he quit acting he might take up scrap booking as a hobby. I mean, if he wanted to then start his own show that involves scrap booking and guests, like a male Martha Stewart, I'd probably definitely watch it. For one thing, He's got lots of hosting experience. (Examples: the 15 times he hosted SNL.) For another, he's good on semi-unscripted shows as evidenced by his delightful vegetable shopping bit for Barefoot Contessa Ina Garten. And he has a lovely, if raspy/whisper-y voice. Total proof that he could carry his own show.

Maybe All Booked Up with Alec (working title, obviously) could be of Alec actually making one of his scrap books, with the scrap book sitting on an easel so he could glue in the pictures and mementos and tell stories about them. Misty AWESOME colored memories, no doubt. It'd kinda be like Bob Ross painting happy little trees, but with happy little stickers and paper punches. Or maybe that's how the show would start, and then progress into a segment where he makes arts and crafts based off his career with his guests. Crocheted Kabletown beverage coozies with Tina Fey. Beetlejuice cross stitch with Geena Davis. "It's Complicated" pot brownies with Meryl Streep. You know, just regular crafts and stuff.

Who knows what will really happen next year. (Aliens? Robot dinosaurs? John Cusack saving us all? More bad 2012 jokes?) But if Alec does quit acting at least we'll always have Netflix. Unless Netflix quits the internet. Cross your fingers that doesn't happen!

I WANT A PIECE OF COW!

I want a steak. I want an effing hamburger. I want a piece of cow! And make it a good piece! ... No tripe.

Just kidding.

Well, not entirely. Today was kind of stressful because of work and school. I've been up since six o'clock this morning working on a stupid response paper that I started three days ago. In my head it all made sense, but trying to put it on paper was not working. And so the paper was late AND it was crap, which made me very angry at myself. And then I had forgotten about a piece of campus bureaucratic BS that I had to turn in today and so after turning in my paper immediately began working on that. And now I have to finish grading papers, and I have a feeling that will take me until at least 12:30 tonight (or this morning-- I worked 3rd shift for years and still can't get that straight) if not later. Plus, I have some in-class writing from Thursday I have to comment on.

I know I have no one to blame for this but myself. I totally should not have gone for those walks in the park this weekend.

Actually, yes, I should have. They made me feel really good. (My psychologist would be so proud right now. Ha!)

Anyway, with today's stress I finally took a break to decide what I wanted to eat. Well, what I wanted to eat was a hamburger...or a steak...or a philly cheesesteak. And I thought about it. And I salivated a little bit. And I got my car keys.

And I put my car keys down, got out the romaine lettuce from the refrigerator and made a Caesar salad with lots of croutons. And I ate the whole damn thing. And when I was done, I washed my dishes, put them away, and grabbed my car keys.

And then I put my car keys down, opened the freezer, took out a bag of frozen seasoned potato wedges and dumped some in a baking dish and prepared to make cheese fries.

Eating vegetarian does not always mean eating healthy. Hey, a potato is a vegetable, right?! But, at least I'm eating vegetarian. Everyone's gotta have a release, right?

If you don't understand my Liz Lemon reference, you must click here.

How I spent Superbowl Sunday

There was a time in my life where I would've watched the Superbowl. Where I would've felt a personal investment in the game whether I liked the teams or not, simply because I was a sports fan. I grew up in a sports watching family and at first it seemed like torture to go to a game, especially football. Hours and hours out in the hot sun or pouring rain, trying to pay attention to something I didn't understand or care about? No thanks. I remember being dragged to football games with a bag full of crayons, books to read, and My Little Ponies to play with. Some of my fondest sports related memories are of reading Beverly Cleary and Amelia Bedelia books in the stands, the sun at my back. Eventually I started paying attention and grew to enjoy the game. But this year? Nope. Didn't care. Honestly, I think I have sports burnout from years of following a team that sucks more often than not and from listening to all the shit-talk. I've barely watched any games this year and I haven't missed it. So when Superbowl Sunday rolled around all I was interested in doing was watching some of the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet and 30 Rock on Netflix. (The 30 Rock cast is my dream team and they almost always win.) This Superbowl Sunday was awesome, basically.

I started with the Puppy Bowl. It really doesn't get much better. Puppies playing, a kitten half-time show, chicken cheerleaders, hamsters in a blimp, a cute ref--and this year they added a kiss cam and shots of animal tailgating. They are really upping their game. After about an hour of Puppy Bowl I decided to try out a baked ravioli recipe from Martha Stewart. The recipe itself was pretty easy, but things got a little messy when I was trying to mix up the sauce. This may or may not be due to the fact I was drinking some beer and having a halftime dance party of my own. (Cee Lo's "Fuck You" is really catchy, you guys!) It turned out pretty tasty, despite the mess. Say what you will about Martha, but she knows her crafts and her food.

Once the ravioli was out of the oven I switched to 30 Rock and contemplated Kenneth's origin story. Seriously, have you ever thought about what his back story is? About his childhood in Stone Mountain, GA and how he got to 30 Rockefeller? Kenneth is really fascinating and frightening on top of being hilarious. Anyway, sometime in between snarting at Liz and pondering over Kenneth I fell asleep and woke up two episodes later after my friend sent me a text about the halftime show featuring The Black Eyed Peas. And wow, what a show it was. It was a medley of worst hits. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, when you thought this is the worst song I've ever heard, it got worse. And instead of having Fergie pee her pants, they just dressed her up in a fug dress and bedazzled pads while Slash trotted out to play a few bars of "Sweet Child of Mine" so she could screech along. And then there was that weird interlude with the guy that had the Max Headroom hair and Usher. I get that they have a song together, but I don't think it added anything to the overall performance. In fact, I think it just made it that much more obvious how auto-tuned everyone is. Yeesh. It seemed like I wasn't missing much, so I put the game on mute and went back to 30 Rock. And I made this:

Around the time I finished sewing on the last button I looked up to see final. Good for Green Bay. All in all, it really was a pleasant, relaxing night, and that's good by me.