Prelude to Equality, Angry Old Muppet Style

Welcome to The Balcony, where we fight for equality with the use of our muppet mouths and human intellects. I can't speak for everybody here, but I've been fairly disappointed by the ridiculous differences in the ways men and women are being treated recently. This blog isn't exactly a place for bashing, but more of a place for making you aware, while I (we?) make you laugh while you think. Or maybe you'll just cry. First order of business: inequality in insurance.

It's called Pos-T-Vac, and it's basically a penis pump. The stabby-feeling gets pretty intense when I see the commercial for this, especially when there's a man in the commercial who says, "If you have a BRAIN IN YOUR HEAD, you'll call this number." Oh really? You must be psychic.

I'm glad men can enjoy this dick-enhancer and the men and women in their lives can enjoy their rock-hard members, but really? This is really covered by medicare and most major insurance companies? I'm sorry, but until I can get a vibrator "by prescription" and have it covered by insurance, this is totally fucked. Can my hood ring go on my insurance claims? Oh, no? It can't? That seems a little wrong in my book, especially since my "enhancement" is supposed to serve basically the same purpose as your pecker-pump. No, I don't have to get "hard" to have sex, but I do need a little more stimulation than the average bear--shouldn't my insurance help me with that?

With all the current medications on the market for "male-enhancement," this is probably the most offensive to me.

In my book, this is a sex toy. The same thing you can buy at any sex store, where pornos, dildos, handcuffs, outfits, and flavored gels abound. But I, as a woman, cannot go to this store and write off everything in the store on my insurance claims. Or can I? If anyone knows what insurance companies support "female-enhancement," you let me know. I'm ready to switch, even if it's to super-annoying Geico.