You can tell it's a fine quality item because of the iron-ons and puffy paint

Me and my friend, who we will call "Luann," are into this new show on abcfamily called "Pretty Little Liars." We decided to get together the other night to watch it and somehow came up with the idea to make Twilight t-shirts after. (I think we're planning on wearing them to the movie? Maybe? Don't judge us.) They are pretty amazing. And by amazing, I mean dumb and hilarious. Here's mine:

The brown blob is a werewolf and it says (WEREWOLF) under it in puffy paint. The white circle is a vampire and says (VAMPIRE) under it. (Just in case you couldn't tell from the picture.) I thought the clarification via parentheses might be needed despite the fact that my graphic art skills are so (not) amazing. I feel like it added a little something else, you know? And I'm not sure if you can see it, but the fangs are done in glitter puffy paint. I came up with the idea based on Eclipse, cause *SPOILER ALERT* it's basically about a big werewolf/vampire fight. Hence the "vs." But apparently, and I say this based on my extensive reading of the Twilight Saga and the Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood novels, werewolves and vampires don't get along. I mean, I get it. They both can't be top supernatural being. Gotta have some drama. But can we just talk about my werewolf for a minute? I mean, what is that? A beard that has swallowed a cat? One of the little ghosties from Pacman that fell in a vat of mutation juice along with something vaguely resembling a cat? I suppose it's a bit teen wolf, so that's cool.

Here's the front of Luann's:



The front says "Little Brown CO." for the Twilight book publisher. Pretty creative, no? And yes, the spacing and letters are all sorts of crooked, but it's still amazing! Luann had to go out and buy an iron to do this. An iron! And it is not as easy as it looks. Here's the back:

She has little rhinestone ballet slippers on the sleeve, since Bella took ballet lessons. And the "S WA N" is for Bella's last name, duh. She was going for a jersey look, and I think we can all agree that, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. By the way, that decal is a peace sign in the shape of a heart. And it took her like 20 years to iron that crap on there. Luann was gonna do a number instead, but the heart is waaay better. Obviously. She also got chocolate on it. We have no idea how. But that's the risk you take when you decide to do an arts and crafts project.

So they're pretty snazzy, right? Totally classy and well-made. I'm sure you'll be seeing these at your local HOTTOPIC in no time. Until then, we're taking orders. Because we're broke and (technically) unemployed and need money as well as something to do. How many can I put you down for?

Elephant Trifle

A couple of years ago I started to develop an interest in plants and gardening. Well, maybe not so much gardening as just going to the nursery or Lowe's buying flowers to put in pots, but still. My mom and grandma are both big into gardening, so I guess helping them plant bulbs and water flowers and stuff rubbed off on me. So anyway, a couple of years ago I came home to my apartment to find a geranium on my front porch. Attached was a notice to renew my lease and "plant" myself at the apartment complex. It was a nice little surprise, and I'd always had a soft spot for geraniums because they just seemed so warm and fuzzy and I loved their dirty, earthy smell. I resigned my lease and ended up having that geranium for a good year; I re-potted it, named it, watered and pruned it, took it inside for the winter, discovered it had caterpillars (no wonder the leaves were all holey and I kept finding little green wormy things on the floor), and eventually had to let it go. But that was it, I was a plant person. There's just something so enjoyable and satisfying about playing in the dirt and watching things grow. And if there's one thing I'm a sucker for, it's those kitschy, kawaii-esque grow kits you can get for like, 2-5 bucks at the drugstore, and the pot is in the shape of a mushroom or rain boot or a chia pet or whatever. Usually they don't grow anything, but I still like to try them out. Because I like dumb, cheap stuff.

About a month ago I was at Lowe's getting gifts for mother's day and I saw one such grow kit in the shape of an elephant. It was called a "Munakuppi Grass Grow Kit." Fun fact: according to wiki, munakuppi is Finnish for "egg cup." The selling point on the box was that you could cut the grass or "hair" into any style you wanted. I had to get it, mainly because it was the goofiest looking elephant I'd ever seen.

Just look at him! The wonky painted eyes that make it seem like he's looking off to the side, the tusks that are more like a mustache than tusks, the pink sneakers with real ties--I couldn't resist. The following Monday I opened up the package pulled out a pack of seeds and this disc-like chunk of dirt. I'm not sure how to describe the dirt, other than to say it was like space dirt, or a giant, brown colored tums antacid. The instructions said to pour warm water over the dirt-disc and loosen it with a fork, but I didn't have to do since it expanded and grew to at least 4 times it's original size on it's own. So weird! Science experiment, ya'll! After it was done growing and re-hydrating from a dirt disc into a dirt lump batter, I spooned about 3/4 of it into the elephant and placed the little grass seeds on top.
Then I spooned the remainder of the dirt on top of the seeds. It was kinda like making a layer cake/trifle, only with dirt and seeds. I was baking a plant, basically. So I put him outside to finish baking. The instructions said it should only take a week.

A few days later I went to check the soil moisture and found little shoots of grass! It was pretty exciting.
I was hopeful he'd have a head full of grass in no time. That Sunday I went to check and found this:
What a good looking elephant! With such thick grass-hair! It's safe to say I was pretty excited. All-in-all it was a pretty fun little project. And after the grass is done for, I think I'll use him as a pencil holder or bud vase--you know, re-purpose!

By the way: I named him Snuffy. Because there's something about those wonky eyes that's reminiscent of Snuffleupagus, no?