Dancing with the Garbage Monsters

Some choice quotes from Bristol Palin and her dance partner on Dancing with the Stars:

-"I'm a public advocate for teen pregnancy prevention."
Um...no. What the hell does that even mean? And is that what we're calling the MTV show Teen Mom now? A PSA starring public advocates for teen pregnancy prevention? No. Bristol and the Teen Moms are young woman who made choices that lead to consequences, and those choices/consequences are now being played out on TV as Monday and Tuesday night entertainment. They aren't just "normal girls," as Bristol says later, they have been made into reality TV stars. They are the "bad girls" who made bad choices and should be looked down upon, but really it's okay because they agreed to be filmed for TV, and therefore they get paid to talk about these choices and given opportunities other young, single mothers don't have. Teen pregnancy has become almost fetishized, which makes sense considering our totally messed up views on sex and sexuality and how all this is ultimately played out in our pop culture. We are so, so preoccupied with teens having sex and babies, aren't we? How funny since we tell them not to do those exact things...hmm...

-"This is the most frightening thing I've ever done in my life."
Yeah, those shimmy moves look like they could kill you. Or pull a muscle. I get it, you're being hyperbolic. But still--BARF.

-"She's only in the public eye because of her mom."
Okay, so then remind me again why she's a "star" on this show? Oh right, she's a "public advocate for teen pregnancy prevention." Because her mother is an abstinence-only-crazy-hate monster who was once a VP candidate. Totally makes sense.

-[When told she'll be dancing the cha-cha to Tom Jones "Momma Told Me Not to Come"] "It's like mine and Levi's relationship! Momma told me not to do it, but I did it anyway."
Yes, Bristol. You and every other teenager. I guess in that way you were a normal teen. And thanks for mentioning Levi again. Because I had totally forgotten about his Playgirl pics and the fame-whoriness of all this. (I had not forgotten about his Playgirl pics or the fame-whoriness of all this since it's constantly being brought up all the time.)

-"If I can do half of what Mark has taught me, bring some sexy to the cha-cha, and don't embarrass my mom, I'll be thrilled."
Whoops. Too late on that last one. (But seriously, I found that statement to be really sad.)

So Bristol dances to "Momma Told Me Not to Come" in a fitted, conservative looking gray dress that's supposed to make her look like her mother, which she then rips off to reveal a sexier, shorter red dress. "Oh, won't it be so cute and cheeky if you wear a conservative outfit (that's still fitted and sexy in that generically boring 'sexy secretary' way) and then you rip it off to reveal a sexier red dress and shimmy and gyrate to a song about momma telling you not to come? Don't get pregnant, guys!" And as much as I'm rolling my eyes at Bristol how ridiculous it is that she's considered a star for having a famous mom and for having a baby as a teen, the actual dance scene basically presents the conflicting messages a lot of young women hear. Women and girls are told to be "nice" girls, to wear the conservative but still sexy outfits, to not be sexual beings, but to be sexual objects. And then they are judged, and as long as they don't stray outside of the accepted norm, they are deemed acceptable women.

I've got nothing against Bristol Palin as a person as she seems nice enough, but I do have a problem with her public persona. And I find it increasingly boring to constantly hear about why she's considered relevant. Yes, she had a baby as a teenager. But can we move past that? Why are we still so fixated on it? Surely there's more to Bristol than her mother and her baby and baby-daddy. But apparently not. That's all women are, isn't it? We're nothing until we put out and get knocked up. And once that all goes away we're back to being nothing, our only value coming from what we are to others, and in how well we conform to the norm.